Divorce in our country is so rampant that one third of those who have taken the plunge have also experienced the devastation of divorce. With the vast majority of people in America being married one or more times, it is common knowledge that every couple goes through a few rocky patches. Deep commitment and honest, open communication are the solution to many marital problems. When faced with problems that threaten to destroy their marriage, many couples are able to persevere and strengthen their bond through counseling.
Some problems escalate into insurmountable barriers to a successful marriage, unfortunately. Generally these seemingly unsolvable issues stem from one or both partners refusing to address their problems while they are still manageable. Emotional abandonment by a spouse may be the result of injured feelings that have not been expressed properly, and the ensuing resentment that builds from a lack of validation by the one who did the hurting. The further into this cycle a couple is, the more likely they will find themselves in divorce court.
Lack of communication kicks off the process of breaking up marriages. It may start with keeping secrets, and soon one or both spouses avoid talking to each other about marital problems or possibly even life in general. The most important aspect of any marriage is trust, once communication has stopped trust is difficult to achieve.
Shortly following a breakdown in communication, a partner may begin to employ personal defense mechanisms that will continue to weaken the marital bond. If you are becoming overly defensive or trying to dismiss the feelings of someone’s spouse then it definitely gives rise to a conflicting situation. One surefire way to sabotage your own marriage is to behave in a passive-aggressive manner or use the silent treatment as punishment.
On the other hand, a spouse may make multiple efforts to address marital problems only to be shut out by the other who is utilizing unhealthy defenses. Eventually the spouse making an effort to correct issues in the marriage will tire of being ignored and may even begin to distance his or herself from the other partner. By the time circumstances have reaches such a low point, saving the marriage may not be an attractive option to either mate.
Is there a “point of no return” when a marriage is doomed? Certainly there is. However, that point is different for each couple. The key to saving a marriage is willingness to save it. Once one or both members of a couple have stopped seeing the other as a partner, it becomes a hopeless situation. For couples who have not given up, the road to marital recovery requires honesty, communication, patience, forgiveness and commitment. It can be a long, arduous process, but divorce can be just as difficult.
If you find this interesting, you can learn more about my experience as an Austin divorce lawyer. You should also watch the Austin TX Divorce Guide CD at www.TruslerLegal.com. If you need more specific information, you can review our Austin TX divorce FAQ’s.
